RIDING ON A ROLLERCOASTER {Blood Glucose Kind}

My first rollercoaster ride was during the summer of 1999; I was an adult and felt like a kid at an amusement park. I woke up early that morning with great anticipation of our fun filled day the drive from Montgomery Village to Paramount's Kings Dominion seemed like it took forever. I could not wait to go on the famed Anaconda, We rushed to wait our turn to be wrapped in coils of this awesome coaster and prepared for the 144-foot drop into the depths of the Anaconda. The ride was awful especially during the 144-foot drop as I held my breath depriving my brain of oxygen while I waited to land. I vowed never to ride another rollercoaster again; I never wanted to feel like I did ever again if I can help it.


On my way home from work this evening I felt my blood glucose going low, I had tested well within range before leaving work 15mins earlier driving west on highway one and not wanting to leave anything to chance I popped four glucose tabs into my mouth and drove on home. I got out of the car and felt I was not totally in control of my lower limbs I made my way into the apartment, I am the first one home and tested at 1.8mmol/l (32). I drunk a glass of milk my heart races, panic sets in I feel as if I am free falling and fast. I ate a tangerine, then a slice of my sister’s homemade dried mango loaf – Yum – I pour a cup of frozen sweet yellow corn, sprinkle some salt on it, into the microwave to nuke. While waiting for the corn I ate another slice of the yummy loaf, I still was not feelong like me yet. I ate the corn my sister comes home she asked if I was OK to which I say yes, I ate a cup of pasta then finishes it off with a piece of ricotta cheesecake. My sister asked once again if I was OK, I answer – yes!


I am now visited by the after low blood glucose headache and feeling so out of control as if I just rode the Anaconda. In disparate need for control and normalcy, I change into my running gear for our evening run. I start out OK however, my calf and thigh muscle burns making known they need insulin, I trace the outline of my meter with my fingers feeling it inside the Pump Pak that was housing it along with my pump. I was afraid of the number that would come up, I slowed to a jog then finally walked my evening run. I took a shower knowing that I have now rode the rollercoaster to the higher point but afraid to test my blood glucose, afraid to open my eyes to see just how far up on the rollercoaster I was now sitting. I dug Rufus, my Bear with Diabetes out of his hiding place.


I do not feel like being an analyst tonight trying to figure out what happened I do not once again want to learn that ratio’s and math formulas, work only when there is logic and with diabetes there is no logic. I just want to be………………………………………………

“I see no bravery, in his eyes anymore……”

I have a secret ………….

Spring of 1998 was beautiful, in the Washington DC metropolitan area, the flowers had just started to bloom, and the days were finally longer. Lunchtime was entertaining again, walking through stunning downtown Bethesda often-losing track of time and getting back to work a little late with self promises to be my aware of time tomorrow.

After winter I cannot get enough of the great outdoor, everything looks so new and vivid as if my standard definition television world just got upgraded to a high definition television. I was in love with life itself so, when a co-worker approached me to sign up to play on a softball team they are putting together it sounded like great fun. My then company provided all the uniforms and equipments, I got to pick my jersey number and it even had my last name printed on it just like professional players I see on TV. I also received a sports bag with all the softball goodies I will need, but I was not very interested in what all was in the bag I only noticed the bat.

Montgomery County parks department finally sent us our schedule both for practices and games along with the teams we will be playing. I could hardly wait to get out on the field and run around thinking about it brought me joy. I changed after work on day one of practice, dove and parked strapped my sports bag and walked as the pro looking gal I was onto the field. Now I have never played any team sports unless you count track and field as a team sports nor did I know the first thing about softball.

I took my position as instructed by my new coach, with the funny looking glove I fished out of my bag. Another co-worker at the end of the field throws balls at me that I was to catch in the glove. I manage to catch one before noticing that the ball was not at all “SOFT” as the name of the game had implied, I was now being asked to catch this not at all softball batted at me, which was bearing at me like a weapon.

I just run back behind the fence telling the coach there must be some mistake, I signed up for softball not this, I do not want to get hurt. I have a crippling fear of breaking bones, shhhhhhhh.. don’t tell anyone please