I have “dreams”, maybe nightmares about flying over traumatic events in these nightmares I am not in control of my abilities to fly and I am forced to witness these traumatic events. This reoccurring dream has been happening since I was about six years old. I have developed the super ability however, to tell myself during these nightmares that it is a dream and am able to wake myself up from them. Often going back to sleep means going back to my nightmare meaning I will have night where the nightmare is repeated over and over as I keep waking myself up over and over.I hope writing this will be the real life equivalent of waking myself up from a “dream” maybe depression.
I take it so personally when my blood sugar is high; I search for days, weeks even months for the answer or the reason why it was? This maybe because I thrive and part myself on the back for all the good numbers, I learn from them and try to stick with the winning formulas. But……….
I love science, it works and can be proven, and one plus one equals two was very exciting to me when I learnt it. I was in heaven the day I was taught “Newton’s Laws of Motion” my favourite is the second law it’s just beautiful and with it, a tried and true formula F=ma or F=mv please let’s not forget the third law – “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”
I remember at twelve years old pointing out a huge ship on the ocean to my mom, saying, “did you know that if you collect all the water being displaced by that ship it would weigh in at exactly the same weight of the ship?”
Diabetes is not science, the formula works most times and sometimes it just does not work. When this happens, as it is happening now with my fasting blood glucose readings I get a little depressed and angry. I am letting it get to me and I am being stubborn about testing my nighttimes basal insulin rate. See I tested it several times previously it worked a formula was set and tried, which worked beautiful.
I am watching a traumatic event happen while I fly above it, I am possible watching diabetes complications lay its foundation as I stew in my own high fasting blood glucose in anger and stubbornness just a little bite depressed.
Wake up Adjoa, you can wake up from this, its just another nightmare come back into reality and you will be save again. But………. for how long?
